


Fill Your Heart's Canvas

by disccchan



Category: K-pop, TWICE (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, LGBTQ Themes, guys seriously idk how to tAG
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:00:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24812722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disccchan/pseuds/disccchan
Summary: Minatozaki Sana and Hirai Momo: two very well-known names in the korean pop industry.Amazing preformers, companions, friends... Or something more?To avoid the already clear consequences, Sana and Momo must hide their relationship from the public at all costs.But what does that mean for them?
Relationships: Hirai Momo/Minatozaki Sana
Comments: 50
Kudos: 31





	1. "Tomorrow, I'll be there, even if you're not"

**Author's Note:**

> hii! um, so, this is my first ever fanfic and i'm super nervous about posting it but i'm gonna do it anyway~ ^^;  
> feedback is very much welcomed~ >w<  
> i'll continue to improve and work even harder!! thank you so much for reading~  
> (and yes, i'm gonna name every chapter after twice lyrics, eheh.. =w=)  
> (sry for the typos..i.. i'm dumb XD)

_“We will work harder. Thank you, ONCE, for loving us.”_

Twice have just gotten their 100th music show win.

Since their debut back in 2015, it was a long, strenuous journey to the top and to their earned title of the nation’s girl group. Knowing the reputation they have acquired over the years, it was only expected for the news to be spread around and talked about across the whole country. Besides, they were pretty used to it by now. But they weren’t bold or pretentious about it at all, or, about anything, really.

Twice were known for their friendly, gentle personalities and humbleness. It’s almost as if they’ve forgotten their status in k-pop’s 3rd generation of idols. Crowned by ONCE, their fans, as queens of everything and anything, their loyal fanbase was one of the main things that held them up so high for so long.

But they were idols after all.

Off-stage, although almost entirely the same joyful people the fans knew and loved, they tended to be a lot quieter and more collected than people think. From their countless appearances on variety shows, to their long v-lives, they did play it all up just a little bit. Nothing drastic or strange for someone working in the Korean music industry, and definitely not taken so far that they’re unrecognizable, which was, unfortunately, common in their line of work.

The only big difference of note is the secret love that Sana and Momo shared, one of which their fans knew nothing about.

“It’s late, Once, please go to sleep. Um...” Momo looked off-camera for a second as if somebody was talking to her.

“Tomorrow is a very busy day, we’re going to be performing on another music show. I hope I see you all there!... Then, I’ll be going to sleep as well… Good night, Once!” And thus, she ended the v-live she had been holding for about an hour and a half.

Sana, who had been sitting across from Momo on Jeongyeon’s bed, came over and sat beside her.

“You look tired…” She exclaimed in a worrying tone to Momo as she wrapped her arm around her shoulders. Sana was always trying to cheer her members up with her optimistic, cute personality and charm. And it always worked, except on Momo for the past few days. No matter how much she tried to make her smile, nothing worked, and it made her feel an extremely great need to make her feel like her usual self again at all costs.

Because Momo wasn’t like this at all. Of course, she had her moments, as everyone does, but it was never to this extent. She was similar to Sana. Although perhaps a bit more mature, their characters still had a lot of shared aspects.

This was just another reason to add this to the list of worries.

“I’m okay, really. I mean, I _am_ tired. We’ve been performing every day, and my voice is a little strained. It’s no big deal though, don’t worry, seriously.” Momo explained, trying not to upset Sana.

“You’re an extremely hard worker, Momo-chan~”, she responded with her cute voice. Momo couldn’t help but smile at that.

Sana’s face lit up in excitement as she finally managed to break her and make her crack a smile even if it was for one short second. But she quickly managed to return her mind’s state to a more serious one.

“But really now. I don’t think that’s the only thing wrong here. You’ve experienced more extreme pain before and you were just fine, I don’t believe for a second that strained vocals could bring you down this much.”

And she was right, there’s no way that was it.

Momo looked down at her legs as they dangled off the bed, keeping completely silent. Sana lightly grabbed her chin and leaned in to give her a quick, small peck on the lips.

“So what’s up?” Sana asked confidently, as if she was completely sure she was going to her the answer she’s been looking for now. A few second of silence passed before Momo finally decided to open up.

“Well… It’s about you and me.” She answered hesitantly. However, Sana wasn’t surprised.

As much of a flirt Momo can be on stage with the members in a joking way, in her personal life, she was far from it. Sana had expected something like this for a long time, and, truthfully, she was scared of the outcome their relationship would have in the end too, she just didn’t want to admit it purely out of not wanting to hurt Momo’s feelings in any way.

Sana sighed in a state of uncertainty before they both heard the door to the bedroom open.

“Hey there Jeongyeon~” Sana smiled at her just like she always did.

“Hi. Uh, I’m gonna go to sleep, so… I don’t know, either be quiet or go proclaim your love to each other somewhere else.” Jeongyeon said in a teasing manner.

Their members knew about their relationship very well, and all actively helped with keeping it a secret from, first, their managers and company, and, second, the public eye as such a thing could either get them punished or kicked out.

But Twice wasn’t Twice without Minatozaki Sana and Hirai Momo. It was nine, or nothing.

~

The sound of morning alarms rang through Twice’s dorm at the ungodly hour of 5:30AM. Their managers were waiting for them outside as they, although quite unwillingly, got up and took turns to shower, do their skin care routines and such.

Mornings were always a mess. Or, better yet, _they_ were always a mess in the morning. Thankfully, their stylists, makeup and hair artists would later on polish them up a bit for their upcoming performances, of which there were many since their comeback promotions have really just started. And it doesn’t help that this is the time when they’re going to be invited to almost every single existing variety show on top of having their own show to film.

It was going to be a long few weeks.

The members stepped out of the dorm and into the van that was going to drive them to yet another music show. But driving to any destination was never boring when all of the members were there with one another. They’d crack jokes, mess with one another, or even with the managers, and just generally talk until arrival.

But Momo was strangely silent, and none of the other members knew why.

Well, except Sana. But even that was debatable to a certain extent.

As they arrived to the insanely huge building full of thousands upon thousands of fans waiting patiently to see their favorite idols perform live, Sana, who was sitting right next to Momo, barely managed to pull her out of the van. The once energetic, always ready to show her best, most professional side to the audience, was now weak, but more so in the psychological sense which then reflected her physical state, or so Sana thought. That was the most probable reason.

But why?

Backstage was a hoard of other artists. Groups, soloists, rookies, seniors… All here to present their talents and skills they worked extremely hard on for years. Twice were getting their makeup, which became a little smudgy due to the high temperatures at this time of year and, thus, a lot of sweating, re-touched for their performance of their newest song, “More & More”.

They could hear the fans screaming from seemingly a mile away. The hosts of the show weren’t there yet, but the audience was already excited and ready to wave their lightsticks in support of their idols.

“Stay still, please.” One of the makeup artists there told Sana. She’d been keeping an eye on Momo, who did not look well at all, and so she kept looking to her side, glancing, turning her head. Momo looked almost sickly, the bags under her eyes still being visible despite wearing both foundation and concealer.

As soon as her makeup was re-touched, Sana ran to quickly get a bottle of water which was put on a large table for the idols to take before and after their showcase. She ran up to Momo, who looked almost out of it.

“Momo.”

No response.

“Momo!”, Sana raised her voice.

“Ah, um, yes?” Momo finally responded. It was as if she had just snapped out of a trance-like state.

“Drink this, please.” Sana offered her the water bottle she had taken just for her.

Momo looked puzzled.

“Huh? Oh, no. I’m not thirsty, but thank you.”

“Drink it.” Sana said, this time in a more demanding tone. Not wishing to start an argument, especially now that she needs to stay as focused as possible for their stage, Momo gave in a took a couple of sips from the bottle.

All of a sudden, faint background music was heard. And thus, the show started.

The hosts introduced themselves and said a few brief things about what today’s program is going to look like.

“Please welcome our first group, Twice!” one of the hosts said in a very cheerful way. They were up first. For Momo, that was a great thing. She was going to get it over with fast. But the problem was, she never thought like this. She was always excited and loved performing as much as the other members and would give it her all no matter how tired she was. But she couldn’t do it. Not today.

The girls stepped onto the dark stage and got into their formations. The lights came on as the soft instrumental started, blending in with the fanchant of Once.

_I know I want it  
_ _입에_ _바른_ _소린_ _이제_ _그만할게_ _  
‘Cause I deserve it (deserve it)  
_ _혹시_ _잠깐_ _내가_ _미워지더라도_ _걱정_ _안_ _할게_ _  
‘Cause I know you (I know you)_

~

“Thank you Once for coming! Thank you everyone!” the girls cheered in union to the audience. They stepped off stage, ready to go home and rest for only a couple of hours before having to go on to another show.

As soon as they stepped foot outside, Sana firmly grabbed Momo’s arm, who looked close to fainting. However, Momo didn’t even look at her. Not even a glance. She was too exhausted even for that.

They got into their assigned van and Sana immediately turned to Momo while the others were either talking or having a short nap.

“Momo, are you sick?” Sana asked with both worry and curiosity in her tone of voice.

“Uh, no, I don’t think so. I feel fine.”

That was the biggest lie Sana had heard all day.

“We need to talk when we get home, I’m extremely worried.”

Momo’s phone buzzed.

_“1 Unread message_

_From: Jinyoung-nim_

_Hello Momo. Please come into my office tomorrow. I need to discuss something with…”_

The message was cut off in the preview. Momo was extremely confused as she had no idea what Jinyoung, the head of their entertainment company, was talking about. However, she decided to open it when they all got to the dorm. She was just too tired right now. She knew it was probably serious, since it’s not everyday that an idol gets a message like this from the founder of their own company, right? Right.

But Momo couldn’t even function properly. Following some of the other members, she closed her eyes and decided to rest for a while until they arrive home. Perhaps it’d make her feel better as well.

At first, Sana didn’t want to let her sleep. But she also thought maybe resting would bring back Momo’s energy.

Her gut feeling told her it wouldn’t, though.


	2. "As if that never happened, as if it’s nothing"

Back at Twice’s dorm, things were looking like they always did. Fairy clean, despite a few of the beds being untidy. The members returned to take the short few-hour break they desperately needed after their long, and still ongoing, promotion period. Falling in a dramatic fashion onto the large living room couch followed by numerous sighs and groans, to an outsider it would seem like they had been working the whole day without breaks. But, in reality, that was just the beginning.

Momo, who had barely even woken up just to simply get out of the van, only sat with the others for a minute or so before gathering all of her energy to go into her and Jeongyeon’s shared room, trying hard not to show any sign of weakness.

“Sana, can I ask you something?”, their leader, Jihyo, asked as she adjusted her sitting position slightly to the side to face her.

Sana looked right into Jihyo’s eyes with an expression that looked as if she’d been waiting for someone to ask… About Momo. Because that was her first assumption. Momo was the only thing she could think of right now. But maybe Jihyo was just about to ask her something unimportant, something small. Though it was only later that Sana even considered that option.

“Yes, what is it?” The corners of Sana’s mouth turned upwards to form a warm, inviting smile.

“Is everything alright with Momo?”

Truth is, she didn’t know how to answer as she didn’t even know the answer herself and the thought of that, as hyperbolic as it sounds, ate her up inside.

“Can we talk about this in another room, please…?”

Jihyo was a little stunned as she had initially expected a simple enough response: Maybe Momo just fell sick, or maybe she strained her body and is now exhausted because of it, since being the main dancer in a group as busy as Twice is mustn’t be an easy job.

Deciding to accept Sana’s offer, they both moved to the biggest bedroom in the dorm, which was now empty due to everyone else relaxing together in the room they had just left.

As they sat on an empty bed, Sana was contemplating in her mind what exactly she should say, not wanting to jump to any conclusions, but, at the same time, desperately needing answers.

“Unnie… I’m scared.” She confessed, though a bit hesitantly. It felt as if her stomach was turning and twisting and, at this point, she couldn’t let it go and just hope for the best.

“Why’s that?”

“Momo has never behaved like this, not even in her darkest times. And the thing is, I’m extremely confused. She won’t tell me anything, she just refuses to say anything about it and tries to convince me she’s fine but I just know she’s not. I’m sure you and the others have noticed it too.”

Sana had wanted to say much, much more, but the gut-wrenching feeling in her body wouldn’t let her. Her breathing became heavier and she was almost at the point of tears. Jihyo brought her closer and gave her a hug of support, and as she pulled away, Sana’s breaths have gotten to a reasonable speed and intensity once again.

“Sana, it’s okay, please calm down. Perhaps you’re stressing too much too soon. You and Momo are extremely close, she most likely just needs some time and she’ll confide in you eventually. If you want, maybe I could ask her about it?”

“Thank you, but… I have a feeling I should be the one to resolve this with her. I really appreciate your support, though.”

“You’re very welcome”, Jihyo said as she gave Sana yet another hug. “If you need me, I’m always here.” she smiled.

Both of them had gotten up after a couple of seconds in each other’s embrace. Jihyo went straight back into the living room, Sana tagging along right behind her before stopping in the hallway.

_“I’m gonna check up on Momo.”_ She thought to herself.

Making her way into Jeongyeon and Momo’s room, Sana could feel her heart beating unbearably fast. She took a few deep breaths before stepping inside…

Only to find it was empty.


	3. "Gleaming sunlight, hiding midnight"

Outside in the insufferable heat of the summer sun in the booming city of Seoul stood the JYP Entertainment building with a dozen windows that reflected the sunshine pouring upon the entire country. With its bold JYP logo right at the front, no passerby could miss it. It was a place where dreams are made…

And occasionally shattered.

Opening the door of the main entrance was a frail-looking Momo, who had tried her best not to be recognized in public which she managed by putting on a face mask, dark sunglasses, and a baseball cap she had lying around.

She confirmed to a security guard that she was indeed authorized to be here and, without hesitation, she made her way up a flight of stairs and into J.Y Park’s office. Thankfully, he was right there.

“Ah, Momo, good to see you!” The head of the company said in a cheery voice as he held out his hand for a handshake.

Momo sat in front of his desk, her legs visibly tremoring and her arms settled in her lap in quite an unnaturally still manner. Holding her head down, she managed to speak up.

“Uh… Why did you call me, if I may know…?”

JYP left out sigh as he shifted his gaze onto the wall trying to think of a way to calmly explain the situation while silence filled the room for a couple of seconds.

“Momo…” he adjusted his sitting position and interlocked his fingers as he leaned forward ever so slightly.

“Are you aware of the current situation on social media?”

“Um… No?”

“Not at all? You haven’t heard anything about it?”

These questions stuck out to her. It was as if he had expected her to already be in touch with it. But, truth is, Momo hasn’t checked social media in a while, having no mental energy to do so.

“… I haven’t, no.” she answered after some consideration.

“I’ll have to explain it then. It’s about you and your fellow member, Sana”

Momo lifted her gaze with a slight expression of fear in her eyes. Can it be possible that the thing she feared the most had actually happened? The thought seemed too distant to be true, yet so uncomfortably close and in-her-face.

“To cut the story short, there was an article released with certain images of you and Sana and we are being bashed on almost all platforms by the public. I called you here today to discuss the situation and possible ways to resolve it.”

“Wait, please. What do you mean by ‘certain images’”?

“Well, if you’d like I could show you.”

Nodding her head, Momo was exceptionally calm, making a conscious decision to leave dealing with her burning emotions for later.

JYP pulled up the article, rotating the screen of the computer towards Momo. The headline was your usual exaggerated title. After about a paragraph of text, there were a couple of images, those which were mentioned.

Momo scanned the images one by one, her face remaining expressionless, not due to being neutral or careless towards the situation but rather due to disbelief.

The first image in the article was a blurry shot of one of the windows of their dorm from far away, with a zoomed-in and sharpened version right next to it.

From the window, Momo’s bed could be seen, and on it were Momo and Sana, sitting, not doing anything.

The next shot was of the same scene, just different timing. This time they were quite close to each other, and it definitely did not look like they were just hanging out anymore. It took Momo a couple of seconds to realize what this and the rest of the images were actually showing.

It was a compilation of a number of intimate moments she and Sana had engaged in. There were multiple different sceneries, all of them containing more than one shot. Their dorm seen through their window, a coffee shop, a secluded area in a nearby park…

Momo had never felt such intense chills run down her spine. She remained expressionless despite her pulse getting out of control as she tried to somehow calm herself down.

Quickly turning away from the monitor, she looked right into JYP’s eyes, wanting to desperately say something yet being completely unable to.

“It’s indeed a serious incident. It needs to be covered up somehow, but I’ve yet to figure out how. Honestly, right now I’m just trying to wrap my head around the fact that you and Sana are seemingly in a relationship.”

Silence filled JYP’s office once again, both parties at a loss of words.

“I’m not sure what exactly to say. Maybe it’s better if we postpone the discussion and leave you with some time to think about all of this. You’re free to leave.”

Momo got up from the chair reluctantly, bowing out of respect and leaving without a single word.

Idol relationships are strictly monitored, or even banned completely. Sometimes the public has quite an extreme reaction to a celebrity coming out and saying they are dating someone. But it becomes an even bigger deal when, not only are both of the people involved idols, they are also from the same group _and_ of the same sex. Normally, the company would issue a public statement regarding the given relationship, but under these specific circumstances, it was debatable if they were even able to do _that_.

What was better: to come clean or try and hide it?

The entire group was at stake.

It was all true. The thing Momo’s been thinking and worrying about for months happened and she doesn’t have the power to undo any of it. Looking at the ground, hands in her pockets, this was all that was on her mind. It was already eating her up from the inside despite this just being the start.

The biggest problem right now though, is getting back to the dorm and confronting the rest of the members about it, assuming they might not be already aware.

Most importantly, Sana.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hii!! um, so, you might have noticed that chapters 2 and 3 are a little bit shorter than the 1st one- that's because they were initially one chapter, but i was advised to split them instead ^^;  
> but umm anyways, thank you for still supporting this fic aaAAAAAA it means so much to me!! ;;w;;


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